18 Days

I have been sober for 18 days.  It's not a very long time, but it's over two weeks.  To me, it's the longest time I have stopped drinking consecutively.  It is an accomplishment, and I am proud of myself.  I live among people who do not understand my struggle, and they want to minimize it or enhance it, but I am well aware of what it truly is, and I am working on that.

Today, I came out to my siblings that I am 18 days sober.  My sister, who is an alcoholic, said "good job" in one sentence and then said "why?" in another.  I said Well because I don't want to be an alcoholic, and she said, "Yeah, but why.....jk".  It really put me instantly in a bad mood.  Why do people have to defend why they decided not to drink anymore?  If I were a crack addict, would they say the same thing?  "Why are you giving up crack?"

I would never say that to someone who is struggling, but maybe she doesn't know I am struggling because I do my drinking in private, and it never involves anyone else.  It's not dramatic, and I don't cause issues or problems for anyone when I am drinking.

I don't get into fights with people.  I don't piss myself and get lost and have to have my parents come get me.  I don't run off to a bar, drunk, and back into my child's car while other family members are trying to prevent me from leaving.

It is disheartening to know that your family cannot support you.  Not in the way you need, so I guess I have to distance myself from them even further-which sucks because we are already pretty distant.