I am flawed.

It's true, I am flawed.  But that's okay-because so are you.  That's the wonderful and horrible thing about being a human being.  And if you are one of many, I am sad to say, out there living in this world thinking you're perfect or your shit doesn't stink-I honestly feel sorry for you.

It's no longer a bad thing to be different, we are all embracing each other these days it seems.  I for one am happy about that.  But acceptance is universal, it's not just acceptance for what you deem worthy of accepting.  If you want, and preach it-you must want it for all-not just for "people like you".

I am on a journey to learn to really love and accept myself, because how can I do this for others if I look at myself & tell myself all the things I hate about myself on a daily basis, over and over again.

This is a raw subject for me, because I have literally lived my entire life thinking I wasn't good enough.  I wasn't a good enough daughter, or a cool enough friend, not a smart enough student, not a good enough mother, or a sexy enough girl/woman worthy of something good, romantic and wonderful.  I made choices based on this fucked up view of myself-choices that affected me and affected people in my life that I love, and honestly I still do.

I have come a long way baby, but I still have a long way to go.  Hopefully by the time I am 90 years old I can truly say, I love myself.

I have been called many names as a child by people I trusted & who I was entrusted to.  I was picked on in school, for being to skinny and tall.  I have even been attacked as an adult for being "fat" so I deserved my husband being unfaithful to me, and that was the reason-as if again, I just wasn't good enough for a man to be faithful to me.

Simple minds-make simple accusations, yet they stick with you and linger in the back of your mind, even if you laughed them off at the time.

I am hopelessly flawed; and I have never aimed to be perfect for anyone.  I have stretch marks, scars, bits of fat in areas some people don't.  I have freckles, moles & skin that has had to much sun and skin that never even sees the sun.  I never do my hair, and I have never learned how to put on make up.

But I am funny, I am loyal, I am faithful, forgiving and forgetful.  I am strong, and hardworking.  I am good mom, and I love all my kids.  I try to be generous, and I love cooking and eating :).....

This is who I am, and why not love me?