Which are we a fan of?
The Color?
The Black & White?
Neither?
The Color?
The Black & White?
Neither?
Showing posts with label self portrait. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self portrait. Show all posts
Friday, August 09, 2019
Wednesday, January 17, 2018
Selfie Sunday & a confession.....
Ya know, one thing I don't do much anymore-is like pictures of myself. I actually do not like seeing myself in pictures much anymore, not that I really loved it before-but sometimes I was the only "willing" subject matter around that I could shoot quickly so I could practice my editing or a new action/preset that I had purchased for found free. I find that, in my youth, a lot of people mistook that for vanity or whatever-and I never really tried to correct anyone if they thought that, because frankly how can you really change someones mind about something if that is really how they feel. No, you just learn what type of person they are and you either live with it & them or you move on.
I have lived with a lot of males and females who have had a misconception about me in some shape or fashion. For example, I am really introverted. I would rather be alone then in a group setting. I am not comfortable in large groups, parties, cook outs or anything unless I am aware of the people that are going to be there, or I am hosting it myself so I can invite the people I am most comfortable with. Along with that, I often make grand plans to go visit someone, or to meet them for lunch but as the time approaches I become nervous, stressed out and anxious. A lot of people don't know that about me, Billy didn't even pick up on these things before - until I pointed them out. He just used every situation separate from the other, when really they just all join up and make one big part of my personality.
As a photographer it is hard when you are this way, I have to force myself to get beyond it - and really it could be why my business has not grew outside of my repeat costumers, because I get fulfilled just working with them every year. Sometimes I go out of my comfort zone and shoot someone new, but it's a friend of a friend, or something along those lines and even then, I am anxious. I am, if I am being totally honest, anxious when I go and work with close friends.
Over the years, as I get older - I have these ah-ha moments, where I finally put two and two together and realize the type of person I am. Of course, I have always known how I was - but I didn't have a label for it or I didn't make the time to even sit down and think about myself in that manner, I was busy raising kids and just trying to survive in this world filled with people who really don't give a shit for each other.
Having said that, I wanted to try to get a new photo of myself to put on my blog & on my facebook - though I have decided NOT to put it on facebook as of yet-we'll see what the future holds. I often look at the pictures I take and then look at myself in the mirror and I don't feel like we look the same and so I don't like to post it on facebook or instagram because I don't want people saying - oh she must have edited that photo or who is that? LOL! When really in real life, I am sure no one really cares about a stupid profile picture on Facebook lol!!!
But without further ado..here is me...weird, chubby, crazy haired me....someone who loves her family, loves her friend(s) and sometimes loves herself.....
I have lived with a lot of males and females who have had a misconception about me in some shape or fashion. For example, I am really introverted. I would rather be alone then in a group setting. I am not comfortable in large groups, parties, cook outs or anything unless I am aware of the people that are going to be there, or I am hosting it myself so I can invite the people I am most comfortable with. Along with that, I often make grand plans to go visit someone, or to meet them for lunch but as the time approaches I become nervous, stressed out and anxious. A lot of people don't know that about me, Billy didn't even pick up on these things before - until I pointed them out. He just used every situation separate from the other, when really they just all join up and make one big part of my personality.As a photographer it is hard when you are this way, I have to force myself to get beyond it - and really it could be why my business has not grew outside of my repeat costumers, because I get fulfilled just working with them every year. Sometimes I go out of my comfort zone and shoot someone new, but it's a friend of a friend, or something along those lines and even then, I am anxious. I am, if I am being totally honest, anxious when I go and work with close friends.
Over the years, as I get older - I have these ah-ha moments, where I finally put two and two together and realize the type of person I am. Of course, I have always known how I was - but I didn't have a label for it or I didn't make the time to even sit down and think about myself in that manner, I was busy raising kids and just trying to survive in this world filled with people who really don't give a shit for each other.
Having said that, I wanted to try to get a new photo of myself to put on my blog & on my facebook - though I have decided NOT to put it on facebook as of yet-we'll see what the future holds. I often look at the pictures I take and then look at myself in the mirror and I don't feel like we look the same and so I don't like to post it on facebook or instagram because I don't want people saying - oh she must have edited that photo or who is that? LOL! When really in real life, I am sure no one really cares about a stupid profile picture on Facebook lol!!!
But without further ado..here is me...weird, chubby, crazy haired me....someone who loves her family, loves her friend(s) and sometimes loves herself.....
Sunday, September 18, 2016
Sunday Selfies
I went a little selfie crazy-that's what happens when you suddenly feel kind of pretty ;)
Tuesday, August 23, 2016
I am flawed.
It's true, I am flawed. But that's okay-because so are you. That's the wonderful and horrible thing about being a human being. And if you are one of many, I am sad to say, out there living in this world thinking you're perfect or your shit doesn't stink-I honestly feel sorry for you.
It's no longer a bad thing to be different, we are all embracing each other these days it seems. I for one am happy about that. But acceptance is universal, it's not just acceptance for what you deem worthy of accepting. If you want, and preach it-you must want it for all-not just for "people like you".
I am on a journey to learn to really love and accept myself, because how can I do this for others if I look at myself & tell myself all the things I hate about myself on a daily basis, over and over again.
This is a raw subject for me, because I have literally lived my entire life thinking I wasn't good enough. I wasn't a good enough daughter, or a cool enough friend, not a smart enough student, not a good enough mother, or a sexy enough girl/woman worthy of something good, romantic and wonderful. I made choices based on this fucked up view of myself-choices that affected me and affected people in my life that I love, and honestly I still do.
I have come a long way baby, but I still have a long way to go. Hopefully by the time I am 90 years old I can truly say, I love myself.
I have been called many names as a child by people I trusted & who I was entrusted to. I was picked on in school, for being to skinny and tall. I have even been attacked as an adult for being "fat" so I deserved my husband being unfaithful to me, and that was the reason-as if again, I just wasn't good enough for a man to be faithful to me.
Simple minds-make simple accusations, yet they stick with you and linger in the back of your mind, even if you laughed them off at the time.
I am hopelessly flawed; and I have never aimed to be perfect for anyone. I have stretch marks, scars, bits of fat in areas some people don't. I have freckles, moles & skin that has had to much sun and skin that never even sees the sun. I never do my hair, and I have never learned how to put on make up.
But I am funny, I am loyal, I am faithful, forgiving and forgetful. I am strong, and hardworking. I am good mom, and I love all my kids. I try to be generous, and I love cooking and eating :).....
This is who I am, and why not love me?
It's no longer a bad thing to be different, we are all embracing each other these days it seems. I for one am happy about that. But acceptance is universal, it's not just acceptance for what you deem worthy of accepting. If you want, and preach it-you must want it for all-not just for "people like you".
I am on a journey to learn to really love and accept myself, because how can I do this for others if I look at myself & tell myself all the things I hate about myself on a daily basis, over and over again.This is a raw subject for me, because I have literally lived my entire life thinking I wasn't good enough. I wasn't a good enough daughter, or a cool enough friend, not a smart enough student, not a good enough mother, or a sexy enough girl/woman worthy of something good, romantic and wonderful. I made choices based on this fucked up view of myself-choices that affected me and affected people in my life that I love, and honestly I still do.
I have come a long way baby, but I still have a long way to go. Hopefully by the time I am 90 years old I can truly say, I love myself.
I have been called many names as a child by people I trusted & who I was entrusted to. I was picked on in school, for being to skinny and tall. I have even been attacked as an adult for being "fat" so I deserved my husband being unfaithful to me, and that was the reason-as if again, I just wasn't good enough for a man to be faithful to me.
Simple minds-make simple accusations, yet they stick with you and linger in the back of your mind, even if you laughed them off at the time.
I am hopelessly flawed; and I have never aimed to be perfect for anyone. I have stretch marks, scars, bits of fat in areas some people don't. I have freckles, moles & skin that has had to much sun and skin that never even sees the sun. I never do my hair, and I have never learned how to put on make up.
This is who I am, and why not love me?
Thursday, July 28, 2016
Florals & Lace
People who are very close to me already know this, but for those who don't know me well......I have always loved the bohemian look. What can't it be popular so I can find it in all the typical stores that I shop in?Over the years, I have bought tunics, floral dresses, lace tops, kimonos, lace cardigans and peasant blouses. Some of them just do not get worn enough if at all. I have no idea what I am scared of...why can't I just wear these beautiful items that I love more often?
Well, I am not getting any younger. It may be time to just let myself go, let loose on what I love & have no regrets or remorse for it.
Just enjoy life...this one beautiful, crazy, amazing life that I have.....yes...I think I will <3
Wednesday, July 27, 2016
St. Augustine Girls Weekend
This is one of my favorite places to go. These pictures where taken when my very good friend, aka my bestie and I took a trip to St. Augustine. I think it's time for another get away!!!!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)