Half a Century

Today, I am fifty years old.  Today is my birthday!  During my 40's I didn't love myself very much.  I was constantly editing my photos to take out most of my imperfections, well if I am being honest I did that in my 20s and 30s as well.  I can't tell you why, insecure is my guess.  I don't know what I was ever insecure about, I am a normal and natural-looking person with no major disgusting parts.  The older I got, the more I thought I didn't care what people thought about me, and allowed myself to be photographed more and allowed them to be shown off on social media.  But the facts are I do care, I do care what people think - but mostly I care about what I think.  I think I shouldn't care so much about how my face and body are aging and really embrace them all.  So I decided to stop over-editing my self-portraits, and though this was edited for artistic purposes (wanted a more muted tone) it is not edited in Facetune or anything to alter the way my face looks and smooth out the skin.  I wanted to look at myself and leave behind photos that really reflect who I am at this moment in time because I am so incredibly grateful for this time on earth, so grateful for these first fifty years honestly.  This 50-year-old body has done so much for me.  It has allowed me to give birth by c-section to three amazing humans.  It has allowed me to retire after 30 years of working for the University of Florida.  It has allowed me to hug, to love, to make love, to read, to write, to eat, to walk and talk.  I have been blessed with three gorgeous grandchildren.  Today, instead of being sad that I am getting older and being sad that I am 1/2 a century old I am so fucking happy about it, and so graciously excited to see what the future holds for me.

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Adult Bullys

So like most moms, I took some cell phone pictures of the kids when they were dressed and ready for school, to memorialize the special day.  When I post these pictures, I of course never think about the fact that people are assholes and someone may end up sending me a message basically bullying my child.

Monday, I get a message from a "friend" on facebook saying "I know it seems early but we should wax/shape Olivia's gorgeous thick brows eeek".  It took me a day to respond because I really just wanted to say a lot of really ugly things followed up with a few cuss words - one of them starting with the letter F and ending in You! I'm sure you get my point.  But in the end, I acted like a lady and just responded "thanks for the suggestion, we probably won't be waxing her face at six years old though".  And just left it at that.  Well I thought I left it at that.

Tuesday, I get a message from a "friend" on facebook saying "you know, they make those Invisalign braces for kids now...." yeah no shit Sherlock.  I responded right away with this one, and said basically that her dentist didn't have an issue with her teeth - in fact he liked it when children had a gap because it gave more room for the big teeth to come in.  I'm just so----annoyed that people would take the time to reach out to discuss how she looks.  Like it was bothering them or something.

Look-we are aware that Olivia has bushy eye brows and a gap.  We are aware that eventually, she will get insecure about them - especially if one of these assholes happens to say something to her face to face and not just through me.  We have talked to her about her teeth and she has seen a dentist who did not refer her to an orthodontist.  We have talked to her eye brows when her brothers have teased her about having a unibrow and told her we would happily help pluck the few hairs between the brows.  But if you know her and know her face-you'll notice that there isn't really a lot of hair there-there is however some darker skin then the rest of her face-and the way her face was made seems to help define it when she is smiling or when her face is resting-she has very expressive brows.

We personally love these things about her and we want her to love these things about herself too.  We want her to be proud of who she is and how she looks, regardless of what YOU think needs to change.  All that matters is how SHE feels about herself.  Kids get enough shit from humans their own age, they damn sure don't need some grown ass woman or man expressing their uninvited, unwanted, unwarranted and bully ass opinion.

This is the photo that sparked the cyber bullies!

Please excuse the choker as well-I was also told that person number two was very concerned about it. I don't know why, I didn't ask-I simply said what I wanted to say about the braces and then deleted them and blocked them from social media.  I figure it was for the best, didn't want to bother them with horrible images of my sweet girl.

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Pit Paste?

Yeah, sooooo I decided that I was going to stop wearing conventional antiperspirants.  Probably sounds like a stupid idea doesn't it, considering I live in Florida and I have German blood in me.  But I had never really considered how dangerous antiperspirants can be and how unnatural they are.

In my goal to eat more naturally, how can I not want/expect to use things that are natural on my body as well?  Well I guess I couldn't.

Anyway, fast forward a few weeks.....which is how long I have not used regular deodorant I think my body has finally detoxed from it.  I am using a product called Primal Pit Paste to make sure I don't stink, lol!  This product allows me to still sweat naturally but helps eliminate bad odor also naturally.

What's in it?  Well it's simple:

• Organic Shea Butter
• Organic Beeswax
• Organic Arrowroot Powder
• Non-Aluminum Backing Soda
• Organic Coconut Oil
• Essential Oils
• Non-GMO Vitamin E (derived 100% from Sunflowers).

My flavor of choice so far?

Lavender!  So far, I just love it.  It doesn't let me stink and I feel good using it, thank you Jen for the suggestion! I do plan on trying the Royal & Rouge next...it sounds like it smells amazing!!!

I'll let you know how it holds up during the Florida hot months.....more to come later then!

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Dry Shampoo

Dry shampoo is something I discovered several years ago due to BirchBox when a subscription I received that month had a sample of amika.  Since then I have tried four different brands & I have my top three out of those four that I like, and here's why:

1. amika - smells amazing, absorbs quickly but it's about $22 a can...eeeek
2. Batiste - smells really good as well, but not as good as amika and does absorb pretty good without leaving the hair to grey or dull looking.  The cost is way cheaper at about $4 a can.
3. Not your Mothers - CLEAN FREAK - very inexpensive, about $3 a can and the can is pretty large.  Doesn't have that exotic smell...but does a great job with absorbing as well.

The one thing I love the most about dry shampoo is that:

• You don't have to wash your hair as often (duh)
• You can spray it in the morning, brush & style as normal (total time saver)
• Hair is silky with less flyaways

I have literally not washed my hair for a week and just used the dry shampoo to freshen it up in the mornings before work.  Runs through the flat iron so much better!

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